Choices

It has always been difficult for me to let go… especially when something I love is being left behind. Over the years I’ve learned that in order to grow, you have to welcome change into your life. Change for me is uncomfortable and awkward. My heart pounds and I sweat constantly as I’m unsure of what step to take next. Lately I’ve been running from it because I’m afraid things won’t work out. I am truly terrified to take that next big step. Especially if it lands me in another unhappy place. I want to feel good… excited… Alive! My friends and family tell me that it’s not that far. They say the water is shallow, but I can’t see the bottom. What if I drown? What if they can’t pull me back up? What if something pulls me further down from the surface? I’m afraid. I want to stay with the one that brings me comfort. However, the demons around them are tearing me apart. Taking advantage of my kindness and making me bitter. I can’t save them as much as I want to. I have to let them go and find my own way. Hopefully they will have the choice to find happiness one day, just like me.